Are We Losing Our Connection to Each Other?

A train full of people. Every seat taken.

Almost everyone alone with their phone.

I noticed it on the Tube in London. Then again on the subway in New York earlier this year. I have been one of those people myself, so this is not a judgment about anyone on the train.

We can reach almost anyone, anywhere, at any time. So why can connection still feel so hard to find?

As a parent, I wonder about the world my daughter is growing up in. As a human being, I wonder what we are learning to expect from relationships.

We can find entertainment, comfort and company in seconds. A real person may take longer to answer. They may misunderstand us. They have worries and needs of their own. Being close to them can bring up our fear of rejection or the feeling that we are not good enough.

Now some people are turning to artificial intelligence for companionship. I can understand why. When you feel lonely, the thought of someone who is always available and offers reassuring words can be appealing.

But it leaves me with a question I cannot easily answer: what happens to our relationships with one another when comfort becomes available without another person?

Connected all day. Lonely all the same?

The World Health Organization estimates that one in six people worldwide experiences loneliness. In England, around seven per cent of adults said they felt lonely often or always in the 2024–25 Community Life Survey.

That does not mean phones caused their loneliness. But it does make me pause when I look around a carriage full of people, all of us so close together and so absorbed elsewhere.

It would be easy to feel discouraged about where we are heading.

Then I remember that I am one of the people in that carriage.

The choice in front of me

There is a phrase often attributed to Gandhi: “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”

I cannot make everyone else put down their phone. But I can ask myself what I want to bring to the people around me.

I want to be present for my life most of the time. I want to listen, look people in the eye and be willing to connect. I want to live meaningfully and contribute something to the world.

I will still scroll. I will still watch television and use my laptop. I am not going to throw my devices away or beat myself up every time I use them.

Instead, I am making smaller choices.

When I am with my daughter, I can put my phone aside. On the train, I can look up. I can smile or say hello when the moment feels right. In a conversation, I can stay present through a pause instead of reaching for something to fill it.

I cannot change the whole carriage. But I can choose to be present in it.

And perhaps that is one place to begin.

What would you like to see more of in the world? How could you bring a little more of it into your life today?